A little, law mentor

People who translate professionally require a great deal of training because each language has differing grammar and syntax, nuances and slang. This is why, if you run webpages through the Google translator, they often don’t make any sense. Similar mistakes are often made by students who attempt to express themselves using only an electronic dictionary, often to amusing ends.

This principle was applied to a classic Japanese fairy tale, “The Inch High Samurai”. The text was translated from old Japanese, into English, and then back into modern Japanese. So here’s the story of “A Little Law Mentor”

It is ancient times. The close couple who was not blessed with child treasure lived in a certain village of Osaka. "God, even a child like a fingertip doesn't mind. Please give it if you please." Every day, the married couple put together and did a hand prayer in God of Sumiyoshi grand shrine. Then, 2 peoples are surprised because the baby of a fingertip limit is really born. The baby was named A little, law mentor, and it was very loved.

Whether they're some years has passed. However, A little, law mentor doesn't grow at all. Such certain day and A little, law mentor said. "Father, mother, and I want to become a respectable adult in the capital. I will go out to travel in the future." "It was wrapped hard." A little, law mentor pricks the waist with a sword of a pin, rides in a boat of a bowl, uses chopsticks as a paddle and takes a travel. Day of rain and of wind rose, pool river finally to arrive to the capital of the capital, they were possible.

When I walked with the brassiere, brassiere, it came out to the very big Mister's mansion. "Hello hello, as for me A little law mentor. I want to meet the Mister by all means." When A little law mentor was found, the Mister liked him by a look. "Ho-ho, this is he who seems fascinating. The favorite just is be here."

The mister had a princess of one. "Charming one" The princess likes A little, law mentor very much, compose and study a song and any time collaboration. A little, law mentor is also frantic in meeting the expectation of a princess.

A matter of a certain day, the princess was accompanied by A little, law mentor and went for the worship to the Merciful Goddess. Then I am a thing of the return road.

Large two bogles showed suddenly and attacked the princess. "Oh dear, this is a beautiful damsel. I will monopolize it."

"Rude bad bogles, this A little, law mentor is a partner, preparedness margin!"

"A little, law mentor extracts the sword of a pin from the waist and is skipping to the bogles.

"It is an impudent boy. Your something eating. The bogle picked up crib, A little, law mentor and has swallowed it. But, A little, law mentor runs intensely while the sword of the pin is being stuck in the stomach of bogle. "Ray and ray hi!" The bogle cannot bear. " I am painful, and this is a Japanese syllabary bowl. "The bogle escaped at full speed, when A little, law mentor was breathed out.

After the bogles escaped, a mallet rolled. "Oh, this is a dollar spinner that everything says a desire is realized." "The princess, please enlarge my back with this dollar spinner." "That the height of that which is big Kiku, A little, law mentor is big Kiku." Ton Caroline Ton Caroline. In the degree where the priness shakes the dollar spinner, the back is extended rapidly.

A little, law mentor became overnight a splendid young man. Afterwords, A little, law mentor was to call parents in the capital, and to have lived happily with the princess indefinetely.
A Happy ending.

Scoreboard: the Japanese Workplace

Since I began working in Japan as an English teacher around 1 year and 3 months ago, I’ve taught approximately 1400 classes (wow, I’ve never tried to calculate that before).

A government employee in Kinokawa city, in 9 months of work, managed to access 780,000 porn websites while at work. That’s around 1 porn website every 30 seconds.

Japanese worker's three-quarters of a million porn hits

The man wasn’t fired… NOT FIRED, but demoted with a $200/month pay cut.

I have yet to receive a promotion.

Engrish: Digestive tract edition

The Japanese above “Collon” says “cream”. I was told the name came from the Japanese sound effect for the action of rolling a tube.








But at the end of the day, it’s still a large cream filled tube called a “cream collon”. It was also delicious by the way.



I think you’d be hard pressed to find an advertising firm in North America that would advise you to put the words “gastronomic pleasure” on a food product. I think it would sooner pop up on a fetish site.

Going, going, Guam

This year for Golden Week (my 1 week of vacation time at the end of April) I went to Guam. Why Guam you ask? Because it was half the price of staying in Japan and going to Okinawa. Guam is kind of like Japan's Cuba. It's tropical, beautiful, and caters mostly to Japanese tourists. I spent 2 of my 5 days SCUBA diving, and the other 3 swimming, snorkeling, relaxing on the beach, shopping, getting sunburned, and enjoying North American style food (Guam is an American territory). It was nice to get away and have some English conversation that I wasn't being paid for. Everyone in the tourist areas were really friendly (and somewhat flirty), and I even had a conversation with a man who spoke mostly Chamorro (the native language of the island).

Also, SCUBA diving is the greatest thing on earth, and I highly recommend it to everyone. I saw far too many fish to list here, but it included clown fish, parrot fish, and butterfly fish, but the highlight had to be the sea turtle I chased around.

This is Gun Beach, where I went SCUBA diving and saw the turtle.

This is the gun after which Gun Beach is named. It's from World War II and was used by Japanese forces to protect the bay from the Americans.

This is the hotel I stayed at. It was small and quiet compared to most in the area, but it was still on the beach.

This is the view from the hotel at sunset. The bay was shallow enough during the day for me to walk out to that island and snorkel around it.

This is Underwater World, the world's longest tunnel aquarium.

Festival-us for the rest-of-all-of-us

I spent last weekend at the Asanogawa river festival. It’s an annual event, and even though it was overcast and drizzly, I still had my fill of meat on a stick. It featured performances by geisha, food, cherry blossoms, food, beer, food, and like all of the best events in Japan, food.

Happy Hanami!

Hanami is the custom of viewing cherry blossoms. For one week every year, Japan explodes into a wonderland of delicate pink and white clouds, such that you feel like you are wandering through heaven.

For this fleeting time, people gather with family and friends to enjoy the scenery and even the most hardened of corporate drones can be caught smiling. Although many writers and poets have attempted to share this season, the true power of hanami can only be appreciated when contrasted with the oppressive Japanese work week and the depressing winter weather that precedes it.

Although neither words nor pictures can capture the beauty or spirit of the season, here are a few anyways.

“The perfect blossom is a rare thing. You could spend your life looking for one, and it would not be a wasted life.” – Katsumoto, The Last Samurai

Not just sake

I've recently realized my blog is sorely lacking in one of the most interesting curiosities Japan has to offer. Food. As with cellphones, Japanese people have little patience for consistency in regard to drinks and snacks. That's why you have to buy a years supply of the delicious fruit flavoured Kit Kat balls that you discovered last week, because they'll be discontinued by next week. So let me introduce you to two beverages that had a one week engagement at my local convenience store.

Pepsi Ice Cucumber. Why did it take so long for someone to think of this? I was asking myself the same thing when I came across it. I can't count the number of times I've longed for a drinkable cucumber on a hot summers day, but to my despair, only lemonade presented itself to quench my thirst. And nothing says potable quite like bright green. I think this beverage may contain the secret of the ooze. It actually didn't taste bad. That's not to say that it tasted good. It had a generic carbonated beverage taste with a mild hint of cucumber, kind of like chewing gum with chlorophyll or the grass flavoured Harry Potter Jelly beans. I'd drink it again, but I doubt I'd ever crave it.


Canada Dry Sakura Mist. For those wondering, sakura means cherry blossom, and is highly revered in Japan. They blanket the more fortunate areas of Japan for a fleeting week, and with them signal the beginning of spring. Sakura are harvested and used in many traditional Japanese sweets as well as more contemporary confections, like Kit Kats. This is however, the first time I've seen them put in pop. This drink is admittedly better than the cucumber one, and has a light cherryish taste without any suggestion of cough syrup. As with most pop, it's mostly sugar, but it's not very strong tasting, and I'd buy it again.